Launching to Fail
I took a break from failing at writing to fail at podcasting for a bit. This is all after I failed to become (something like) a professional stand-up and while I fail to fully extricate from stand-up as a whole.
The podcast is failing in part because I’ve failed to figure out how to make a decent theme song. I have to decide to either rely on my own abilities (music is something I’ve failed at many times over the years!) or ask/hire others to fill in my considerable gaps in talent. And that is a decision I’ve failed to make.
It’s also failing because I keep telling myself no will want to listen to it. Possible proof that the human brain evolved to avoid big failures by submitting itself to small ones. What’s the pain of never getting off the ground compared to that of violently crashing into it?
And these artistic failures all run parallel to my failures as a parent; this summer’s lowlight was my failure to satisfyingly wrestle with the issue of homeschooling. Thankfully, it was, in part, decided for me, as hurtling through time is something even I’m incapable of failing at until— I suppose— my literally untimely death. This parenting failure gave birth to a little baby failure of its own: I failed to properly prepare for the first week of homeschooling.
But I’m embracing the failures. I’m looking at how that word can be twisted into its own kind of success. An acceptance of limitations. I will fail to give up. Even if all I accomplish is a long list of things that I never quite