The Seventeenth
17 Names We Applied to Summer School So Our Child Wouldn't Feel Bad About Going
(and we wouldn’t feel guilty for sending them.)
Summer’s here, and for many kids that means hanging with friends, relaxing at home, and plenty of free time. But not for our kid! I can’t get into the details, but, well, we decided that one of them needed a little “extra” this year. Not as a punishment or anything like that. Just a little more structure so we wouldn’t lose to much momentum going into the next grade. And we went to lengths (some may call them great) to find something that wouldn’t feel like such a burden— to any of us! But still. There’s always a certain negative connotation to summer school. So we tried to throw a positive spin on it through the euphemisms. A bit of shine, you know? Put a little polish on (what we really, really hope is not) …a turd.
Listed below, in increasing levels of desperation, are 17 of my favorites:
Summer Activity
Summer Program
Summer Solution
Summer Scheme
Summer Time, and the Learning’s Easy
Summer Learnin’, Have You a Blast.
Summer Learnin', Happens So Fast
Su-su-summertime, Summertime Gladness
Thought Girl Summer (this one works better when you read it)
Three Fortnight’s Worth of Fun (while this one’s better when you hear it.)
Summer’s Cool (this one’s better when you read it, but you kinda need to say it out loud too.)
Skibidi School for the Orphans of Lost Rizzlers
Indoor, Bug-Free, Camping
Your Learning Era
Technically Speaking, June's Not Actually Summer Anyway, School
When I Was Your Age I Had to Do Odd Jobs For Strangers, So You Should Feel Lucky
You'll Thank Us Later Unless You Go No-Contact
